Today's been full of little sadnesses. A friend who wasn't interested in a relationship after a divorce is engaged; my niece is valedictorian of her high school and I can't be at the graduation, nor can I just send her a bunch of cash; for some reason I decided to watch a heartbreaking documentary about people who've come out of comas, and the saddest thing was the roller coaster their families go through, wondering how much of that person they'll get back, can they resume their lives like before, and having to revise those plans when the progress doesn't come (or falls short). And it's the Tonys. Which are always a bit difficult to watch. And I just realized: internet, I really needed you when I was young. I felt so far away from all the things I loved. Though we traveled a LOT (yay very grateful, because I certainly can't afford it much now), I never went to NYC until I was in college. The places where my dreams were happening were misty and imaginary, not something possible. Not even remotely. And I wasn't the ballsy, bombastic types that theatre likes anyways. I went to a theater camp when I was 16 in MD and when I wanted to keep in touch with staff and students, I had to write letters.
Technically, the internet's been around since the 60s, but not commonly used until the 80s/90s and I had zero interest in computers until after college, when I got super interested. And it wasn't commonly used [ironically, as I'm writing this, the Cleveland Playhouse just won the best regional theater award. Though I didn't do anything there, I did shows in and around Cleveland.] when I needed it most - the 70s/early 80s. I don't often make definitive statements about past unknowns, but I feel pretty confident that being able to feel connected and that things were more possible would have been very helpful for me, would probably have changed things. Ohio felt a million miles from NYC, even though you can actually drive only a handful of hours from OH and be in NY. I never really got that. It just seemed vast and impossible. And still does in some ways, though I'm years into the entertainment business in some senses, but not how I wish to be.
Had to stop to watch Michael Cerveris win best actor in a musical and best musical. We have some people in common so he's my Facebook friend, so I said congrats. Isn't it interesting that he and I are FB friends but there are actual people I KNOW, colleagues, who will not accept my invite?
Always at the wrong time. Always the wrong choices. Compounded. That's how it feels. Over and over.
Technically, the internet's been around since the 60s, but not commonly used until the 80s/90s and I had zero interest in computers until after college, when I got super interested. And it wasn't commonly used [ironically, as I'm writing this, the Cleveland Playhouse just won the best regional theater award. Though I didn't do anything there, I did shows in and around Cleveland.] when I needed it most - the 70s/early 80s. I don't often make definitive statements about past unknowns, but I feel pretty confident that being able to feel connected and that things were more possible would have been very helpful for me, would probably have changed things. Ohio felt a million miles from NYC, even though you can actually drive only a handful of hours from OH and be in NY. I never really got that. It just seemed vast and impossible. And still does in some ways, though I'm years into the entertainment business in some senses, but not how I wish to be.
Had to stop to watch Michael Cerveris win best actor in a musical and best musical. We have some people in common so he's my Facebook friend, so I said congrats. Isn't it interesting that he and I are FB friends but there are actual people I KNOW, colleagues, who will not accept my invite?
Always at the wrong time. Always the wrong choices. Compounded. That's how it feels. Over and over.
