you'll find me at the horse barn

I gotta hand it to the kids across the street, whose capacity to yell for hours at a time (I think they're playing video games) is truly impressive. [UPDATE: 3 hours later and they're still yelling, and they'd been yelling for at least a few when I wrote this. Wow.]

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It's almost D-day. I leave on Sunday morning. I'm gonna try to take Uber. I've been assured by Uber that there are cars very early in the morning, but I have a few plan Bs in case there aren't.

I've been "guest cleaning" for days, cleaning in shifts, because I despise cleaning and don't want to do hours at a time. Pretty much done and de-furr'd. I even cleaned the fridge and microwave. Today I

- did laundry
- got some more cat food
- got cash
- got some groceries
- started packing in earnest

I gave myself a shitty pedicure, I got my hair done, and I have continued to prep. I still need to do some work, so that's tonight and all of tomorrow. I have talked to my friend who's staying here, and sent him tons of info about things to do, and where things are in the apartment and around here. I've left him keys.

I've consulted with several friends who are musicians and/or educators and have gotten lots of good info. I've taken workshops with this program in mind. I got a new book to use. I have a vocal percussionist coming in at the end of week and that's all set (and we have a mutual friend who lives in town who's also going to come by). I chose a song and sent it to my harmony class. I've gone over all the parts. I got flip flops for the shower, because someone told me to (and he gave me his whole packing list, which is helpful). I have the names of the people in my classes (only two overlap, and both are full).

Mostly I'm panicked and hope I can pull this off. I have lots of good info to give them, but I'm kicking myself for all the things I didn't learn better when I was in school (all grades and ages) and didn't pay enough attention to. So I hope I can get out of my way.

I have looked at the campus map, and it seems pretty awesome. Nothing makes me happier than a really rural area. I'm hoping there's somewhere to swim. There's a river running through the town, and some other body of water. There's a farm, and a horse barn, and a garden. I'm worried about meals, and seeing C. The socializing part. And the teaching part. Ok, all of it.

But it's almost here.

When I went to camp as a kid, I was always either swimming or with the horses. I suspect this will be much the same. With music. 

blonde-bots

Why is this look a thing?

The fake tan, the bleached-to-hell and flat ironed hair (destroyed), the fake eylashes and heavy eye makeup, overly made up, the spray tan. This is a very common look, and it must work, people must be attracted to this look, but I don't get it. Why is this attractive? To me it looks kinda gross and so so so high maintenance. Like, if I were a straight dude thinking of getting with some girl, and I saw this, I would just think "this won't be pretty in the morning", or "it must take her 3 hours to get ready to go out the door". Without all the prep, I wonder what's under there? Yet, you see this a lot.

Another mystery.

crunch time and Croc-hatin'

Lots going on (some that I can't talk about), and I have a week until I go to Swannanoa to teach. I'm still...terrified. I still feel unprepared so I'm cramming all the planning in I can. In the past several months, I've talked to or met with several teachers I admire. I've gotten music, I have a vocal percussionist coming in, I sent a song to the harmony students, I've talked to the program director and gotten some great info from the one student coming that I have met, I have someone coming to take care of Rocco (and vacation here), but I still feel very nervous. So...more planning this week. I suspect the other teachers are more chill about this. I wish I could be. I don't feel confident in my abilities. My classes are full.

cannot WAIT until this sight becomes a memory

So while I take a break, let's talk about Crocs. I hate them, lots of people SAY they hate them, and yet lots of people wear them. Most commonly, I think, it's parents foisting them on their young children (because any kid older than, say, 12, ain't gonna put up with that shit). and I think it comes down to "trend", but I use the word in quotes deliberately. This kind of trend is very different than style, as there is no style there. They're anti-style, and not in a good way. They look like plastic buckets on your feet. And there's NO FUCKING WAY they're "comfortable". They're not even meant to be. They're meant to be gardening shoes. But somehow they got marketed correctly to what I'll call the Mommy Culture™, and they became a trend. Mommy Culture™ is powerful, y'all. But interestingly, it's a trend everyone denies being part of. Everyone who wears or forces their kids to wear them (and my SIL is one of them! Ug!) will tell you that they just got them because they're "comfortable" and waterproof. But had they not been marketed correctly, and more importantly, had Mommy Culture™ not somehow, for some reason, appropriated them, they'd NEVER put their kids in them, or wear them themselves. Because they're horrible. You don't even need to have any sense of style to know that, so let's not pretend that they're just ignorant of what looks good. They'd have been passed by, and left in the gardening department. But instead, they're now on the feet of most little kids, because parents see other kids wearing them, and mimic other parents. Like sheep. Baaa! What drives me nuts about it most isn't that they're so hideous (people wear lots of horrible shit), but that they deny that they're following a trend by wearing them. And it's nothing other than that. So protestations about comfort and waterproofing don't (no pun intended) hold water. Don't deny being part of a trend when you're in fact a slave to a trend, and a terrible one. This despite the fact that they're dangerous on escalators, that they apparently quickly start stinking something fierce (gross).

I saw a little boy the other day in pink Crocs. He was probably 8 or 9. My immediate thoughts were: "pink, cool! ... Crocs, UGGGGG".

There'd have to be multiple compelling arguments for deliberately outfitting myself or my kid in something so ugly. There's just no need.

Gotta go.

Tindering #4

This guy. Who wouldn't want to get with this dude? I love that he's calling out peoples' intelligence by using the made up/misspelled word "dummest". Ha ha. 

Tindering #3

Last night I took a small sampling of my Tinder matches (until I got bored and had to move on to doing, ya know, actual stuff) and here's what I found -

I viewed 62 guys, and there were:

• 27 baseball caps
• 10 goatees
• 29 stadium pics/sports pics/sports logos
• 3 fish/fishing pics
• 1 drinking/bar pic
• 7 pics with women
• 3 motorcycle pics
• 8 pics with kids
• 3 pics with cars

Tindering #2

first one I pulled up:

fish AND bb cap!

I'm wondering if that many men actually go fishing on the regular, or they only do it occasionally but think it's the kind of life event that chicks will dig seeing evidence of, or what? Also, these guys best be eating those fish, because I am not ok with killing poor fishies (or anything) just to take pictures of it.

Tindering

So I downloaded Tinder, the dating/meeting app to see what it was about. If you don't know, it's very simple: it's connected to your Facebook account, but mostly it finds people around you (per your specs) who are also on Tinder. If you have mutual FB friends, it will tell you that. Then there are pictures and a brief description. If you're interested, you swipe right. Not interested, swipe left. Only when two people are interested in each other are they notified. Then you can message each other if you want. I've been matched with a bunch of guys. Only two have messaged me. Of those, only one wrote back. So, basically worthless. And yes, you're judging mostly on photos alone. And yes, it's dumb.

Here are a few things I've learned about the guys around me age 37-52 (though a bunch of younger guys have gotten in there - I'm not sure why) -

• so many goatees, making them all look alike
• so many baseball caps, making them look stupid
• so much sports and sports logos (and posing in stadiums)
• of course the ones with tattoos have to show those off, assuming everyone else finds them hot
• same with motorcycles
• some pose with cars, apparently thinking that's impressive
• so many married men (identifiable by their no photos and the use of the word "discreet")
• so many pics of men with women (why??)
• so many men holding fish (again, is this supposed to be impressive?)
• pics of men at the gym
• pics of men shirtless
• so many men my age who look very very old
• men who have pics of their kids as their primary photo. unless you want me to DATE YOUR CHILD, a picture of you, please
• so much posing in bars or drinking

I have no idea what it's like for men seeking women. Is it this bad? My overall Disappointment Rating (out of 10)? An 8. But really, I shouldn't have expected more, and I guess I didn't. At this point it's fun to see how many consecutive goatee/baseball caps will come up. I guess looking forgettable is the name of the game for men in this area. 

Let me pull it up right now and see what the first guy look like...

Ahh, a tattoo and chain guy. No goatee or bb cap. Swipe left or right?