"Hoarders" comes home

I am fascinated by all the "Hoarders" shows - "Buried Alive", the animal ones, etc. I marvel at how many people apparently live this way, how they got that way, how it gives them comfort, and what drove them there. One of my favorite documentaries is "Grey Gardens". I realize some of this is vestigial junk from the way my mother was raised, in a house like much this. I won't go into the details, but when my mother was 12, her father died, her mother (my maternal grandmother) became very ill mentally, was never treated, and the house became a nightmare. I never saw this house, and I never met her. She died when I was a baby. I have only heard the stories. After a stint of obsessive neatness in high school, following my mother's cue, I have now settled into what I'd call a very happy medium. Not messy at all, but not overly obsessive about neatness. In fact, I live for the day when I can afford to have someone else clean for me. I do not need to oversee or (micro)manage my cleaning and I know someone else could do a far better job than I.

So that's the background.

I am friendly with my neighbors and I'm also aware that they are hoarders. But, unlike the people on the shows, who tend to live in large homes with rooms and rooms crammed full of crap, they have a half a house with 3 people. It's not all that big. But it's certainly crammed full. On the few times they've had people over, they've had to spend months in advance cleaning up one room to a tolerable level for guests. I went over yesterday to take them some beans I'd made them (that they love) and oh, it's worse than I've ever seen it. First, you're blown back by the smell. They have 3 small dogs that RARELY ever go outside. They don't get walked or run or anything. They are forced to go on puppy pads that are rarely changed. The place is crammed full of stuff on every surface, and there's dog poop and old food everywhere. They seem to notice that it's messy, but not in any out of the ordinary way. There are 3 of them that live there, the couple and a 19 year old guy. The couple are planning to move their bedroom downstairs to the "living room" so they don't have to climb stairs (they are prematurely aged, even though they're only in their 50s) and are "gearing up" to clean out a room on the first floor that's not even accessible. I've never even seen it. They estimate it will take months to do so. They rent there, and I'm unsure if their landlord, who does not live on the premises, but stops by fairly often, knows about the condition of the place. I have never seen their bathroom, but I can only imagine.

The smell from inside clings to them all the time. It's a sweet, pungent smell that you can't place, but it's just not right. Psychologist stepsister noticed it within a few minutes of meeting them at my place. "What's going on there?" she asked, and then mentioned something about self-care. And they both work at a HOSPITAL. He as a security guard and she as a nurse's aide.

I wonder if I should say something and if so, what? They're very much fatalist, accept-your-lot types, and they also have very low expectations for themselves. In some ways they're low functioning, but these are smart people with big hearts. That's the confusing part. Even if they don't expect more for themselves, I want them to have more. The conditions they're living in cannot be helping them health-wise. There are respiratory and sinus and various other issues, and their dogs are always having problems (one recently died, and was immediately replaced). I want their son, who has learning disabilities, to have more. He has graduated from high school and seems to have very little structure. He's a nice kid and needs some. What's interesting to me about the shows, and this situation, is that, because the changes happen slowly, it seems normal to those living in it. Because the smell builds up slowly, it isn't noticed. Adapt, adjust, and all of a sudden you're living in squalor and it seems absolutely fine. The narrow passageway that you have left to walk through not only seems normal, but feels comforting. I totally get how that could happen. Because keeping up with cleaning is boring and relentless, and if you're an adult and noone is forcing you to, a percentage of people simply will stop.

All I know is that I had to come home and immediately change.

request

Yes cats, it's impressive that you somehow managed to throw up on the vertically-hanging dust ruffle* on my bed, but it's a pain in the ass that I now have to clean it, because getting it on and off (from between the mattress and box spring) by myself is a huge pain in the ass. It's really a two person job. Is there just no way you could aim for the hardwood floors next time? Please?

*please do not envision anything ruffle-y. It's actually denim. I don't have a formal bed, so this is covering up the ugly metal bed frame. Eh, it works.