Have you ever had one of those moments where it feels like someone is talking through the television TO YOU? I think it's safe to say that I'm not having a psychotic break, but that's how it felt watching this speech. Like it was something important that needed to be said, at that moment in time. Proof that this guy is the real deal.
"...To all the people watching, I can never ever thank you enough for your kindness to me and I'll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you: amazing things will happen."
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=269005846623&ref=mf
23 January 2010
22 January 2010
laziness
I think a lot about laziness. Am I lazy? What constitutes lazy? How do people obscure the fact (sell to the people around them) that they actually are lazy? I think about it because my father always made it clear that getting up past 7am was "lazy". He'd get up at 5, 6, 7, or earlier, and expect everyone to do the same. Nevermind that we were all going to bed way later than him. And nowadays he sleeps a lot owing to his bad health, but even in his healthier days, he couldn't comprehend that other people have different schedules, but are actually UP, and productive, for as many - if not more - total hours as he was. The fact that at least 2 of the 3 of us kids are decidedly NOT morning people did not bode well during vacations, when he'd wake us up at 6am and and wonder why we weren't thrilled to start the day IN THE DARK, on vacation. Vacations were exhausting.
I have a deep and abiding dislike for early mornings. For a long time, I thought I was the only one (because I was lazy), and that eventually I'd have to settle into a job where I experienced the existential angst that an early alarm clock brings (or, more accurately, punches into you), and for much of the year in the dark, even. Right now, I don't have to do that because I work for myself, and I now know other people who feel the same way I do, and have deliberately created lives that don't make them slaves to an alarm. I have one friend who flies a lot, but will not take a flight earlier than 11am or red-eyes if he can help it. I think there is a cell-deep difference between me and my late-flying friend and how we're affected by mornings, and people who would rather not get up early, but do it anyway, and don't mind mornings all that much.
Maybe I should start drinking coffee. I might feel differently?
I still experience existential angst, but it's not because of a daily buzzing that tears me out of sleep. And lately I've been working from approximately 9am to approximately 1:30am, with some breaks (like right now!). I only wish I were getting paid hourly for all this work. I have a lot to do, but I'm not getting a lot back from it. Much of it is work that will hopefully eventually pay off, or will pay, but not immediately, and not enough.
Why was I thinking about laziness? Because I've been sort of disappointed to see examples of things that I think really ARE lazy, and they bother me. I have more than one friend who have dogs and don't walk them or let them out to poop/pee. Isn't that just STANDARD for dogs? Dogs go outside? In fact, one thing I hear dog people say is that they could never have cats, because litterboxes are disgusting, etc etc (not to mention that these are the same people who have kids and have no problem putting their FACES RIGHT DOWN INTO THEIR KIDS' DIAPERS!). Whatever. But I know at least two people who have dogs (more than one dog each) and use those puppy pads, for their adults dogs. As a permanent thing. Aren't those for training? One friend has the pads right in the middle of their kitchen. They can't be bothered to walk them or train them. Don't dogs NEED that kind of structure? I mean, I know it takes a lot of effort. A LOT. But I'd never get a dog if I couldn't provide that.
And yet, these people work a lot. So are they lazy? Are they just making choices of time allocation? Some people don't like to clean their houses, so they don't. Time allocation choice, or laziness? I don't go to the gym enough. Eh, that's just laziness. I can't excuse it. Right now, I haven't gotten dressed yet, though it's 11:30. But I've gotten a lot of work done. Lazy, or lifestyle? Just thinking about it...
Sometimes financial restraints force me to buck laziness. One of the keys came off my laptop recently. I spent a LOT of time trying to get it back on, Googling for instructions, etc, but its tiny little pieces are very hard to manipulate (though I could see how it was supposed to work), and it kept popping off. Yesterday I ran into Hot Brazilian Computer Guy at the bank. I asked him about this. He said they're impossible to get back on and that I'd need to buy another complete keyboard and I could replace it or he could put it back on for me. But it would not be cheap. So I decided to give it one last try, putting the pieces together in a new way, and...I actually got it on! Desire to not spend $$ I don't have = motivation.
This laziness theme is forefront because I'm making a lot of changes lately. I won't say much about that, but I will say that I haven't talked much about what I'm going through, which in itself is unusual. (In the past) I'd write, I'd find someone and commiserate, but it's not really serving anyone. And there's so much Bad Shit going on. Politically, to say I'm dismayed would be an understatement. I knew that Obama would be a tough sell, but the rabid dogs are out to PULVERIZE him, and one of the results of that is the recent election of dumbass Scott Brown to the senate. If this guy has two brain cells, I'd be surprised. But that's what we value now. A guy with a truck who can feign (because that's all he's doing, folks) being "of the people". We value dumbassery. We are wary of intellectualism. It's a sad day. In addition, I know a few people who've lost parents recently, something that was unheard of among my peers until recently, but is now starting to happen. Another's mother is battling cancer. My own father is not doing well. And on and on. I don't know how people wake up and feel hopeful, and I realize that maybe that's just my brain chemistry, but things aren't good out there.
So in light of this, I'm fighting against that urge to be lazy, to give up. My friend Tom, who lost his father a few days ago, sent me this book, "The War of Art", and the very last page says this:
And I'd add: And train your damn dog. And walk it. Your literal and figurative dog. That goes for MY figurative dog as well.
I have a deep and abiding dislike for early mornings. For a long time, I thought I was the only one (because I was lazy), and that eventually I'd have to settle into a job where I experienced the existential angst that an early alarm clock brings (or, more accurately, punches into you), and for much of the year in the dark, even. Right now, I don't have to do that because I work for myself, and I now know other people who feel the same way I do, and have deliberately created lives that don't make them slaves to an alarm. I have one friend who flies a lot, but will not take a flight earlier than 11am or red-eyes if he can help it. I think there is a cell-deep difference between me and my late-flying friend and how we're affected by mornings, and people who would rather not get up early, but do it anyway, and don't mind mornings all that much.
Maybe I should start drinking coffee. I might feel differently?
I still experience existential angst, but it's not because of a daily buzzing that tears me out of sleep. And lately I've been working from approximately 9am to approximately 1:30am, with some breaks (like right now!). I only wish I were getting paid hourly for all this work. I have a lot to do, but I'm not getting a lot back from it. Much of it is work that will hopefully eventually pay off, or will pay, but not immediately, and not enough.
Why was I thinking about laziness? Because I've been sort of disappointed to see examples of things that I think really ARE lazy, and they bother me. I have more than one friend who have dogs and don't walk them or let them out to poop/pee. Isn't that just STANDARD for dogs? Dogs go outside? In fact, one thing I hear dog people say is that they could never have cats, because litterboxes are disgusting, etc etc (not to mention that these are the same people who have kids and have no problem putting their FACES RIGHT DOWN INTO THEIR KIDS' DIAPERS!). Whatever. But I know at least two people who have dogs (more than one dog each) and use those puppy pads, for their adults dogs. As a permanent thing. Aren't those for training? One friend has the pads right in the middle of their kitchen. They can't be bothered to walk them or train them. Don't dogs NEED that kind of structure? I mean, I know it takes a lot of effort. A LOT. But I'd never get a dog if I couldn't provide that.
And yet, these people work a lot. So are they lazy? Are they just making choices of time allocation? Some people don't like to clean their houses, so they don't. Time allocation choice, or laziness? I don't go to the gym enough. Eh, that's just laziness. I can't excuse it. Right now, I haven't gotten dressed yet, though it's 11:30. But I've gotten a lot of work done. Lazy, or lifestyle? Just thinking about it...
Sometimes financial restraints force me to buck laziness. One of the keys came off my laptop recently. I spent a LOT of time trying to get it back on, Googling for instructions, etc, but its tiny little pieces are very hard to manipulate (though I could see how it was supposed to work), and it kept popping off. Yesterday I ran into Hot Brazilian Computer Guy at the bank. I asked him about this. He said they're impossible to get back on and that I'd need to buy another complete keyboard and I could replace it or he could put it back on for me. But it would not be cheap. So I decided to give it one last try, putting the pieces together in a new way, and...I actually got it on! Desire to not spend $$ I don't have = motivation.
This laziness theme is forefront because I'm making a lot of changes lately. I won't say much about that, but I will say that I haven't talked much about what I'm going through, which in itself is unusual. (In the past) I'd write, I'd find someone and commiserate, but it's not really serving anyone. And there's so much Bad Shit going on. Politically, to say I'm dismayed would be an understatement. I knew that Obama would be a tough sell, but the rabid dogs are out to PULVERIZE him, and one of the results of that is the recent election of dumbass Scott Brown to the senate. If this guy has two brain cells, I'd be surprised. But that's what we value now. A guy with a truck who can feign (because that's all he's doing, folks) being "of the people". We value dumbassery. We are wary of intellectualism. It's a sad day. In addition, I know a few people who've lost parents recently, something that was unheard of among my peers until recently, but is now starting to happen. Another's mother is battling cancer. My own father is not doing well. And on and on. I don't know how people wake up and feel hopeful, and I realize that maybe that's just my brain chemistry, but things aren't good out there.
So in light of this, I'm fighting against that urge to be lazy, to give up. My friend Tom, who lost his father a few days ago, sent me this book, "The War of Art", and the very last page says this:
"Do it or don't do it...If you were meant to cure cancer or write a symphony or crack cold fusion and you don't do it, you not only hurt yourself, even destroy yourself. You hurt your children. You hurt me. You hurt the planet...Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It's a gift to the world and every being in it. Don't cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you've got."
And I'd add: And train your damn dog. And walk it. Your literal and figurative dog. That goes for MY figurative dog as well.
16 January 2010
10 January 2010
I feel a little nauseous looking at this...you?
This is a woman who goes on TV to refute the "rumors" that she has an eating disorder. No, she says, I'm fine. This is just how my body is. I'm naturally thin. I eat everything! Ask my husband.Everyone accepts it. She goes on "The View" and they all nod, like, Yes, you're right. We can see now. You look fine. Let's talk about your clothing line and TV show.
Only sites like this actually mention the obvious.
This is considered a normal type of body now, apparently.
You can SEE HER RIBS.
What's wrong here? This woman has a husband. The husband is married to a skeleton. He apparently finds said skeleton attractive, and doesn't think that she's dying.
We are so fucked up about weight in this country. We are sedentary and becoming moreso. We know about nutrition but don't bother to follow the structures that would keep us - and our kids - healthy. We allow our kids to become overweight and don't require that they get any activity.
I
saw "WALL-E" recently, and didn't think it was the most-adorable-thing-EVER, as everyone told me I would. One, it was too hard to see all the brilliant Pixar detail on my microscopic TV screen (not the fault of the movie, of course), and two, I was disturbed that all the humans had become so corpulent and lacking in BONE that they rode around on hover chairs, and didn't walk at all. And they're definitely cute...AS ANIMATED FIGURES. And as animated figures who, in the end, decide that maybe they can actually walk. And rehab the planet. There's hope. But their hover-chair existence doesn't seem like such a far-fetched future us. Here in the land of (extra) flesh and blood people, we seem to be progressing towards that seemingly unthinkable extreme physical inertia, rather than away from it.And we so revere (or at least we don't consider them to be starving, which is what they are) women who look like the above, because their clothes can hide how truly skeletal they are, and because thin is what we're all striving for.
It's not right to be able to see someone's whole rib cage. That means there's nothing left. Nothing BUT skin over bone. This should not be a look that anyone aspires to, but I know it is (for some). Take a good look at it, kids. On one end of the spectrum we have this, and on the other, the enormous hover-car people (immobile without their chairs because of their weight). Being average never looked so good.
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